Maybe I’ll be Brave Enough to Finish

I’m considering taking a month long break from blogging and t.v. watching AND book reading.  IF I took this plunge, it would be for one purpose alone and most of you know what that purpose would be: Detroit’s Daughter.

I have a great friend in my Mastermind Group.  She made a movie.  She’s in post production and often I’ve said to her “how do you do it? HOW? HOW for CRYING out LOUD, HOW?”  Not only because she wrote, directed and produced her own film but she’s also finished a 2nd script & started a 3rd.  Her day job? Homeschooling her 5 children.  In order to give adequate weight to her “side hustle,” she gave up books, t.v. & R & R at night.  She pursues her dreams from 9pm-1am as many nights as she can swing…

…for several years now.

She looks at me the other day, says, “you should do that too…just for a month…to, ya know, finish your book…”

“A month?” I ask all innocent like.

“Yes!”  She yells.  “You could probably finish DD in a month will a little focus.”

“Give up reading? T.V.? Blogging FOR A MONTH?”

“Yes! You need to finish!”

“SIGHHHHHHH!  But… but… but….”

You’d think she asked me to give up food for a month.

The truth is, y’all I’m afraid.  Afraid of success, afraid of failure, afraid of workin’ too hard, afraid of workin’ too little, afraid of regret.  Heck, I’m afraid of being afraid.  When I think about the project and what it could be, the idea for a screenplay later or any other aspect there isn’t much I’m NOT afraid of.

I’m not sure how I got all cozy with this grating fear in my ear everyday, but here we are.  Here it is. FEAR.

The closer I get to the finish line the more afraid I’ve become.  Like a drum, getting closer, louder, pulsating faster it’s always there.  Every time I allow my mind to consider the completion of this project, it’s Jumanji drums all up in this mug.

So. I’m considering this, this new fangled idea of giving up books, and television and blogging for a month to give singular focus to the memoir during my evenings.  I don’t want to.  I’m scared.  Not feelin’ so brave…but I am considering it.  That counts right?

For now, let’s call this a maybe.  IF I do, I’d wait until November….it perfectly aligns with NaNoWriMo (pronounced na-no-RY-mo).

Anything you’re scared of?  Avoiding?  Dreaming about?  Willing (or unwilling) to sacrifice for?  Let’s commiserate…