grace is messy

Allow me to talk around my mess if I may…

A few years ago, a best friend of mine who I adore & love like a sister, was in a hot, triflin’ mess.  Not the pretend kind that bloggers sometimes ramble on about in which their seemingly perfect children and marriages hit a bitty snag in an otherwise mostly peaceful middle-class, American existence.  No.  I’m talking, straight up *actual* mess.

I didn’t know how to respond. I was mad at her.  Some of it was her fault. Some of it wasn’t.  Some of it understandable.  Some of it…not.  I tried to reason with her.  I tried silence.  I almost left her.  I didn’t. I decided to live in the tension of her mess -somewhat of her own making- for a very long time.   Eventually, she made it.  We made it too.  Love, friendship, sisterhood in tact.

I’m in a mess too.  I see my friends doing the same.  A few don’t know how to respond.  A few are mad.  Some of it is my fault, some of it isn’t.  Some of it understandable, some of it…not.  Some have tried to reason with me.  Some love through calculated silence.  Some pray constantly.  Some sit with me. Some cry.  Everyone but one decided to linger in the frustration, bathe in the tension of watching someone they love engage and embrace mess.

I’ve learned so much from these two life-altering messes, but the major take away is this: grace is messy.

Everyone involved gets dirty.  Hurt, broken, frustrated, maligned.  It is scandalous.

Grace is messy & scandalous.

Learn to linger in the tension.

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“On Fridays around these parts we like to write. Not for comments or traffic or anyone else’s agenda. But for pure love of the written word. For joy at the sound of syllables, sentences and paragraphs all strung together by the voice of the speaker.

We love to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. For five minutes flat.

Here’s how we do it:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat with no editing, tweaking or self critiquing.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in {you can grab the button code in my blog’s footer}.

3. Go and tell the person who linked up before you what their words meant to you. Every writer longs to feel heard.

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes for the prompt: Mess.”

-Lisa-Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday

 

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  • Patricia Pitterle

    OH, I love this. Life is messy and you described grace beautifully. I am sorry for whatever mess you are finding yourself in. I don’t always like my own messes, but I always learn from them and grow from them.

    • http://www.gracebiskie.com/ Grace Sandra

      Thank you, Patricia. I am learning so much. It’s the hard way, yes, but i am learning.

  • Lisha Epperson

    I’ve followed your words/work for a while now and I’m rooting for your Grace! In between the talent and the tension is so much more. Find a way to live in that space because you’re golden. Grace you are golden and God has a plan.

    • http://www.gracebiskie.com/ Grace Sandra

      Thank you so much, Lisha. I am trying to trust in God’s plan. I am. Thank you for these words of affirmation. Thank you so much, Sis.

  • Jerry

    Yes Grace is messy. I capitalized the “g” on purpose. Such a layered statement coming from you. I think all of us should at least have the nickname “Grace” don’t you? Here’s another layered statement…Grace yourself.

    We have come into some messy situations around here too. So many cluttered intersections in this large family of ours. Giving words like grace and forgiveness and mercy are needed when the traffic light malfunctions in the busy intersections. Sometimes Barbara and I simply shrug our shoulders and lean into each other and exist in the tension for a while.

    “Everyone involved gets dirty. Hurt, broken, frustrated, maligned. It is scandalous.

    Grace is messy & scandalous.

    Learn to linger in the tension.”
    Grace can appear scandalous from the view of the uninvolved. The outliers, the hands off peeps stay at a safe distance and point and gawk down their noses. The more we deal with the messes the less time we have to point the finger…in fact we’re too close for an effective pointed finger. Hang in there in the tension sis.

    • http://www.gracebiskie.com/ Grace Sandra

      Jerry, you always have a way with words! I love “grace yourself.” love it!! And this, “Grace can appear scandalous from the view of the uninvolved. The
      outliers, the hands off peeps stay at a safe distance and point and gawk
      down their noses. The more we deal with the messes the less time we
      have to point the finger…in fact we’re too close for an effective
      pointed finger. Hang in there in the tension sis.” that’s good enough for an entire blog post! so so so so good. that is exactly what I was trying to say. Jerry, I love your words so much, you have such a beautiful way with them. you really do. Yes. Yes. Yes. i am so thankful for all the ones that hold me dear who are too close to point their finger at me. yes. yes. yes. thank you.

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  • mongupp

    Good to hear from you again, Grace. Your posts encourage me so much!

  • Jillie

    I was just thinking the other day, “Gosh, I haven’t heard from Grace in awhile. Wonder what’s goin’ on.” I guess I have my answer. I am sorry to hear you’re in a difficult and messy place right now. I hope you know you have my prayers, Grace, and that I love you. No pat answers here, nor Christian cliches. Just Love.

  • Mining4Diamonds

    I have learned from first hand experience that when you love broken people, you WILL get cut. Sometimes to pieces. Thank God He binds up our wounds and heals those cuts, and those relationships. We’re all a hot mess in one way or another…or will be at some point. His grace is SO abundant, and is available for us and through us…often at the same time! (((Hugs))) to you!

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  • Steve Austin

    This is fantastic. Thank you for being so real and for sharing his scandalous, messy grace! I would love to share this as a guest post on my blog, http://www.graceismessy.com Would you do me that honor?